Between Love and Infatuation
Some would hold that the difference between love and infatuation is that love lasts but infatuation does not. This is incorrect, I think, for a number of reasons. First, if there were no other difference between love and infatuation, it would make it impossible to tell whether any given relationship was a love relationship or an infatuation relationship until some time in the future when people could look back and say whether the relationship lasted or not. Hence, no one could ever accurately say something like "those newly-weds certainly love each other" no matter how wonderful or fulfilling their relationship at the time; it could only be said on their 25th or 50th anniversary that "well, no one knew at the time, but those two certainly were in love when they married." And if either or both died young, no one could tell whether they were in love or just infatuated or not -- or by unamended definition, since the state did not last, though involuntarily, it was not love. But none of this really is in keeping with common usage. We do make distinctions between love relationships and infatuation relationships that are new or that exist now without feeling the need to wait for the passage of (more) time.
Bringing it Into Reality
Infatuation can even be thought of as love with only 2 dimensions. With love, that third dimension is reality. So, it is actually your ability to tell what is real in a relationship, versus what is imagined. You love being part of a couple, but is this the person you want to be in a couple with?
Look at the reality of who this person is, not who she/he wants to be. Do you always interact over dinner and drinks? Meet under different circumstances. Become part of each other’s lives. If that is not happening, why not? Are you spending and enjoying time together? What happens when you’re apart? Are you sure?
Trying to differentiate your love interest from your lust interest is requires a level head and the courage to face the unpleasant. It also requires maturity and the ability to take a step back and survey the big picture. The result is more control and confidence as you stride your way in love’s direction.
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thoughtful
thoughtfulCurrent Music: "Buses and Trains"
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